|
Personal
Testimonies
By God's
grace alone I had never had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ until sometime during my elementary school years when somehow I came across a small cartoon booklet about the life story of Jesus. I can still remember my heart was deeply touched when I flipped to the pages where Jesus was whipped by the soldiers and then crucified. I did not realize that the Holy Spirit had then planted in my heart the seed of salvation. As a child, I used to walk on the streets of Taipei, and saw Bible verses like "For God so loved the world that He gave His One and Only Son..." and "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved-you and your household." (Acts 16:31), which were painted on the fence of a church. Those words had not affected me until one day when I was just 12, when God caused me to think of some really serious question especially for someone at that age. It was God who put such questions in my mind as "Are there really 'heaven' and 'hell'?", "Where am I going after I die some day?" and led me to church where I came to the saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus. That was not the end of my story. I was not a motivated student in my junior high years, and academically, I was not proud of myself at all. Later, we moved to Malaysia, and from there my parents sent me to college in the US. And I was determined to study hard so that my parents may also be proud of me. With a new priority in life, I began skipping church from time to time, and gradually reached so low in the valley of my life, even to the point of doubting the existence of God. I went through a period of spiritual depression. I had a great conflict within me because I questioned if we were all created by God, and somehow deep down in my heart I still believed He was my God. After a period of struggling and searching, He brought me to the light. And I wondered overwhelmingly about the orders among the vast heavenly bodies as well as in the invisible particles of matter, and yet the infinite degrees of uniqueness in His creation such as we! Even more incomprehensible is His love so great that Jesus, His Son, should come to die for me, a sinner! God let me recognize my pride as well as my absolute insignificance. I repented before Him. And by His grace, He let me see that He is the God of all creation, and indeed my Creator and Savior. As I look back in my life, I thought I was searching for God, at least for a brief period of my life. But the fact is that God is the One Who has been searching for man, and for me! Even when I was little, not knowing anything, He sought me out, and saved me. When my faith was being challenged, He was there guiding me to the truth and patiently waiting for me to return. I was like sheep going astray, but now I have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of my soul. (1Pet 2:25) The Lord Jesus has said, "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." (John 10:28) And I will praise the Lord for His faithfulness that would never be affected by my unfaithfulness.
I have heard about Jesus from my parents since my youngest years. At first, I didn't know what in the world my parents were talking about, but slowly I got the idea. Church also helped me through the many sessions of Sunday school classes. As I grow older, I have become very curious about him. Is he cool? Is he funny-looking? Or is he a father-like figure? I also have more serious questions to think about like…How do people know if they are saved? Why doesn't he show himself in visions like he did in the Old Testament? And when in hell, would he be the meanest God he could be? All these questions I have thought about, have asked my dad some of them, but the rest I have prayed about. The more I prayed the more I understand. Praying is spending time with God. It is also a special time because no one is there to bother me, and so I can talk to God alone. After having prayed often, I began to realize that more of my prayers were being answered. Some were being answered the way I wanted them to be, but some not (Oh well!). For example, one day, I was rummaging through my backpack for my computer thesaurus. It was very expensive ($50). It was a 10-year old birthday present from my mom and dad. I couldn't find it. I panicked and looked everywhere. I still couldn't find it. Then, I just sat there recalling all the activities I had that day. POP..school! I had left it at school in my English classroom. I told my parents (and of course they were upset) and I directly went to my bed and prayed. I said, "Dear Jesus, please help me find my thesaurus at school so that I won't lose it. And if I do find my thesaurus tomorrow at school, then that will be a sign that you love me. Thank you. Amen." I was so very anxious to go to school the next day. Finally, the day came and I asked my English teacher anxiously if there was a thesaurus left there in her room yesterday…and she said, "Yes. I've been waiting for someone to claim it. " We went to her room and she gave it to me, I was so happy, I hugged her and ran off, leaving her totally dumbfounded. From then on, I knew that God was with me wherever I went and that he will be with me and love me all the rest of my life.
I have been going to church for as long as I can remember. My mom and sister are Christians; unfortunately, my dad isn't. Although I have heard about Jesus as I was growing up, I didn't really understand. In fourth grade, my mom explained the Gospel to me for the first time using a wordless book. She explained about Jesus' blood and how it washed away our sins. She asked me if I believed in Jesus, I simply said yes. However, I really didn't know what she meant by "believing in Jesus." By fifth grade, I read a fictional story about a Christian family; that's when I actually understood what it meant to be a Christian. I asked Jesus into my heart and to be my Lord and Savior, yet not realizing the commitment I was making. Even though I had Christ in my heart, I didn't change but just kept living my life the way I always did. The summer youth retreat before seventh grade was when I truly knew the responsibilities for being a Christian. I asked Jesus a second time to be my savior, and this time I knew my commitment in growing in Him, spreading the Gospel, and trying to be more like Him. Up until now, the summer before ninth grade, I've had many ups and downs with my relationship with Him. Sometimes I feel so excited and motivated to get to know God better, study His word, and grow to be more like Jesus. Other times I feel as though following Jesus is too difficult a task for me or that my life is going so well that I don't really need Jesus. I realize that I need to try harder to know God and grow in Christ. I realize that I haven't put God as my priority as much as I should. I want to share the Gospel every chance that I get and not be afraid. I hope and pray that in this upcoming school year I will learn to put God first in my life every single day. |
